from the archives of #MorningCoffee // 18 May 2018
Boundaries are self-imposed limits that both protect & limit us.
They create a defined space in which we can feel comfortable & safe.
Boundaries keep you in control of who/what you let into your life, your energy, your physical presence, your heart. They are the walls holding your cozy little house together.
If we have an insufficient foundation, our walls are shaky (or don’t exist at all), the roof might collapse under pressure… And we might lose a bit of trust, being forced to reinforce & redefine our boundaries (…walls).
I would be the last person to say that life happens inside of your comfort zone, and thus, Boundaries are meant to be pushed. Just as rules are made to be broken. The difference here is that Boundaries should not, under any circumstance, be broken or crossed.
Yes, Boundaries serve an important purpose. Knowing your personal Boundaries, in ANY realm of life, ensures that you hold personal responsibility for the outcome of whatever situation you commit yourself to.
But… We all know that growth happens when you stretch outside of your comfort zone. That safe space within your Boundaries, when honored, creates freedom to push your Boundaries. And when you push those limits out a little further, you expand your capacity – eventually beyond what you ever thought possible.
In the end, sometimes we find that our Boundaries need to be crossed in order to know what they actually are. With an ounce of personal responsibility for those outcomes, we can learn from those experiences, instead of shutting down at the mercy of defense mechanisms.
Life is little more than a social experiment., constantly evolving with each experience and encounter.